Someone told me the other day that my baby is now a toddler. Time has flown by and Lily doesn’t seem to be slowing down. She is finally mobile …commando style, that is. (Jake promises that he hasn’t been playing Call of Duty in front of her) She gets a good grip on the floor with her hands, pulls, and then quickly drags her legs and feet behind her. It’s actually quite efficient and of course I think it’s adorable. Her main inspiration for this feat is our poor little neglected old timer, Maddy. “Maaa!” Lily exclaims whenever Maddy enters the room and her hands take off toward Maddy, arms, body, legs racing after. Maddy has been starved for attention for the past 9 months but has recently resurfaced in the Braly home as a star. And as of April 23, when Lily finally figured out how to move, Maddy has been her main objective. Maddy, who previously was at our beckon call or even glance, has however, been in hiding for the past week. Maddy likes Lily but not nearly as much as Lily loves Maddy, and I laughed so hard yesterday when Lily and I called for Maddy and Maddy ran directly into the other room and hid from us under her blanket. Lily looked up at me so puzzled. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Maddy does not feel the same way about her.
A lot has happened this past month: “crawling”, pulling herself up and walking along the couch and 4 new top teeth. Lily also had her first big cold, she traveled out of the country, she had her first taste of meat and her mum turned 30.
It’s been an absolutely wonderful month! But even that being said, I can still admit that I had the worst bout of helplessness. It was so hard to see Lily sick, she had a fever of 103 and an ear infection but the worst part was her stuffed up nose. If only she knew how to “blow”! I would try to tickle her nose so she could sneeze, which actually worked somewhat because without that, she couldn’t breathe or drink her milk. J and I got zero sleep for about 72 hours. (it’s amazing how quickly we forgot how challenging it can be to care for a non sleeping baby) And then, I got sick to which I was very disappointed and shocked. I thought moms were immune to their child’s illnesses! On top of her sickness, we learned that four top teeth had broken through the gum. That’s right, my little pea has 6 teeth and all of a sudden, her gummy grin isn’t so gummy anymore. We also learned Amoxicillin makes Lily bonkers. Jake kept asking me, “Is this okay? Is she normal?” If I had a penny for every time either one of us have said or thought that, Lily’s college education would already be paid 10 times over. Lily has always drifted off peacefully to sleep for 12 hours at around 6pm since she was about 4 months old. But when she is on the Amoxicillin, it’s a whole different (hyperactive) story. I was standing, swaying and singing with her, as we always do before bedtime, and she was violently shaking her head back and forth, chomping her jaws, making crazy noises, using her feet to crawl up my chest and onto my face and those eyes, those wild eyes! Bonkers I tell you. To say the least, I’ll certainly never forget her first cold and how sad it made me feel for her. I’ll also never forget how sweet Jake was; walking in her room in the middle of the night to check on her, gently rubbing vapor rub on her chest, ensuring her humidifier was super clean and misting absolutely perfectly. He’s a good dad.
Outside of the week of sickness, I have been seeing a whole lot more smiles. She is definitely developing her own sense of humor. She likes to make faces now at me. She makes an O with her mouth and raises her eyebrows and then laughs real hard. She repeats this until one of us laughs so hard we can’t take it any longer. I can already tell, I am definitely experiencing a lot of those moments that I’ll just always carry close to me.
For the first time in her life, Lily was told “no” last week. What was her reaction? She laughed really hard. Oh boy, I told Jake, we are going to have our hands full! Now that she’s gone mobile, she is able to fix her eyes on something fabulous, commando crawl to it and of course, put it in her mouth. Yesterday at the park, she became obsessed with all the yellow dandelions in the field. She picked one and put it to her mouth. “No Lily,” I said, and she looked at me with a surprised look for a moment and then pure belly laughs followed. This continued for the next 5 minutes. She would look directly at me, and then hold the flower up to her lips, “No Lily” and insatiable laughter ensued. She finally became bored of my authority and started playing with her toes.
Lily, like most babies, became very interested in her feet and toes at around 3 months. However, recently after I got a pedicure, she became obsessed with my dark pink toenails. “Ahhh! Ahhh!” and the “Ahhs” grow louder until I give them a little wiggle and then she just loses it, laughing so hard. So about that pedicure… I realized the other day when I strangely decided to look into the mirror, that I should make more of a habit of doing that. I realize this is an awful thing to say but I remember before I was married and with a ‘toddler’, I told myself I would never ‘let myself go’ like I had seen so many moms do after they have a baby. “Gosh they look miserable,” I admit I would think to myself. But here I am, not a stitch of makeup on, hair in a bun, and wearing those sweatpants and fuzzy socks you only wear when you’re like on your period or have strep throat or something. I’m also sure I’m sporting mashed avocado (Lily’s lunch) somewhere on me but I am happier than I can ever remember. It’s not that anyone has let themselves go, it’s that mothers just let themselves focus on what is important. This whole baby thing and growing up thing is really cool. I’m learning a lot. (though I still don’t think it would hurt to glance in the mirror before Jake gets home from work and maybe one other time during the day. Yes, two times surely is manageable within a 24 hour period)
In addition to pink toenails, Lily also thinks chicken is extremely hilarious for some reason. It was her first taste of meat, boiled chicken, hardly exciting but she would beg to differ. She loved it and adamantly “uuuughhhh’d!” for more.
Lily made her first trip out of the country to Vancouver, BC so she could meet Giechan (mom’s dad) and the rest of mom’s family. We made the voyage and also sought a Japanese name to be bestowed upon her from the old and wise Geichan. My Geichan is 94 years old. He and my Bachan, who is now passed, never spoke much English but we communicated just fine through smiles and gestures (often times I’m sure ‘talking’ about completely different things but still maintaining a ‘conversation’) When we arrived at his home, he lit up when he saw Lily and immediately wanted to hold her. I heard him muttering little Japanese words to her and I wondered what he was saying. She took right to him and it made me feel good inside.
When I mentioned that I wanted Geichan to give Lily a Japanese name, everyone got very excited and started shouting out names. My mom’s family is pretty funny and every time we get together, someone always has to remind us to quiet down. Later that evening, Jake and I were home on the couch, mulling over the Japanese names shouted out for Lily and we decided on a melding of names: Kimieko Ame. Kimie (after my bachan and my middle name- it means empress), Ko (after my mom, YuriKo) and Ame because it means rain and Lily was born in the rainy PNW. So her name means Empress of the Rain.
It was really neat to see Lily with mom’s side of the family. I looked at my Geichan at one point and thought to myself that it must feel pretty freaking cool to sit back in his big chair and look upon all his children, grandchildren and now great grandchild. All 15 people were gathered in that room together, sharing laughter and hugs because of him. Lord willing, Jake and I will sit in that same ‘seat’ one day. Life is incredible.
Lily loves her baby. It’s pretty cute, at about six months, Lily fell in love with a little, pretty, pink doll from Jake’s Grama named Baby. She just lights up when she sees Baby. In some way I almost think that she likes to love on her baby like her mum likes to love on her. Lily has many stuffed animals and with the most recent naming of Jason, the singing giraffe, I believe all of them have finally been named. With the help of cousins, Olivia and Elliott, there is Zoomer and Zaffer, the squirrels, Dragon, the giraffe, Gruff, the dog, Janey the Zebra, Teddy, the teddy bear, Butterfly, the butterfly, Dr. Dancer, the moose, Ziff, the whoozit, Lamby, the lamb, Captain One Eye, the octopus, Leo, the lion and wick, willy and diddle the random objects.
Jake’s mom recently sent me a video recap of the late bluesy singer/guitarist, Phoebe Snow’s life. The video captured her performing on stage and at the close of her performance, she had said, “I hope that in your lifetime you experience exquisite and divine love like I had for my daughter.” I think this same thing often and in some (probably) very strange way, it makes me sad to think that not everyone in the world will have a chance to meet Lily. Of course every parent thinks this about their child but she just brings such immense joy to me and I wish I could share that feeling around the world. It’s just incredible and it’s no wonder I constantly have the song “This Little Light of Mine” in my head. There’s this one thing that we do and it’s one of those things that makes me wish she would stay 18 pounds forever. I pick her up in my arms, her body in front of mine and we spin in circles. Maybe it’s because it was my favorite toy when I was a child but it makes me think of a kaleidoscope. All I see is her beautiful giggling face, her big dark eyes shifting back and forth as we spin, twirling objects around us and swirls of colors. It’s one of those activities that I know I will look back on and remember with such fondness.
Speaking of things in my childhood and looking back and then growing up… I turned 30 this month. From a (complete and utter) surprise birthday party, to a new piano, to an incredible book of pictures and words from my friends and family, to Mel visiting all the way from New Zealand, Jake made turning 30 an absolute blast!
Of course I was asked several times, “So, how do you feel, turning the big three oh??” The second time I was asked this, I stopped and thought about it and realized, I’m quite thrilled! I can’t think of any other way I’d love to celebrate my 30th birthday than with sweet Lily in my arms and Jake by my side. God has blessed my 30 years in so many ways. I am so thankful for my loving, supportive family/community in which I grew up in, the amazing and endless memories in my 20’s with the best girl friends one could ask for and although life has moved me clear across the country, I am thankful that distance has not kept me from sharing and rejoicing with both family and friends in all that I have now in Lily and Jake.
And as I sit here and reflect upon my own life on my little girl’s 9 month birthday, I sit with tears streaming down my cheeks, in the comfort of my loving husband, in the warmth of our home and with the assurance of great family and friends in my life, I feel incredibly FULL.
Once again, here’s to another month celebrated with you, sweet Lily. You have made my 30 years complete. May your light always shine, little one. I love you!
