My baby has turned into a girl. Onesies are only for bedtime now, she wears real girl clothes, separate pants and shirts. She also started wearing shoes. No longer do I tote around the carseat, she’s definitely a hip baby now. She enjoys good conversation, though we still don’t speak the same language. She eats ‘real’ food now and can even pick up her puffs and put them in her own mouth.
Lily can stand up on her own if she’s holding onto the couch. She enjoys full on belly laughs almost as much as I enjoy watching them. Her new favorite game is when I pretend to be asleep and then wake up with a shriek “I’m awake!” We are very silly these days. Lily has started to say Mom or Mum Mum Mummmmmmmm. It’s awesome. One of my favorite things though is her whole hearted smile with no gum. I call it her “I’m quite pleased” look. Her eyes get squinty, eyebrows raise slightly, the nose crinkles up and she grins so big that every dimple caves.
Lily also earned her first “wings” a couple of weeks ago when we flew to Nashville to visit Jake’s family. It was a wonderful thing to see her meet everyone and I think Jake was right when he said as soon as we walked through the door, she knew she was with family. It was truly amazing how she took so quickly to Jake’s brother Luke and sister, Katy. (this meeting all following a new phase of not liking strangers) Luke immediately got the “quite pleased” look and Katy got a full on smile and “Ahhh!” (which means ‘awesome!’). I was surprised at the generosity of her cuddles with Jake’s dad (it’s even a rarity that I get them) and she just had tons of fun with Jake’s mom. I often feel proud of my girl though she’s only accomplished things a mother could be proud of; first dirty diaper, lifting her head, sitting up, eating a cheerio, etc. Lily made me proud once again when we visited Katy’s day program, Brightstone, an organization focused on enhancing the lives of adults with special needs. We brought Lily to help celebrate Katy’s birthday with her Brightstone friends and I was touched as each person approached us in their own way. Jennifer loved touching Lily’s hair and repeatedly reminded me of that. Lily held the fingers of several individuals who were very inquisitive and wanted to share every detail of every baby they ever met. While she was very serious at first, she ended up dishing out a lot of smiles. And Alyssa, she was so sweet. All it took was one hug from her and Lily became enamored. Alyssa kept her arm around Lily and Lily kept her fingers on Alyssa’s pretty sparkly shirt.
Lily actually traveled quite well, she only slept for about 30 minutes on one flight but she also only screamed for about 3 minutes total. Passengers loved her, applauded her, took pictures of her, wanted to touch her (I, on the other hand, tried to avoid this). I also did not like the incredible turbulence on our last leg back home. I have flown a decent amount in my day and have never been scared during a turbulent flight. However, I was shaking and clutching Lily as our plane repeatedly dropped. People were vomiting, women were crying. A pastor placed his hands on people and prayed. I was terrified. Finally we landed and as I looked over to Jake to ask him how long it would take us to drive from our layover in MN back home to Seattle, he looked confused. He slept right through our potential demise. And seeing as both my husband and baby were not frightened, I decided we could board our next flight home to Seattle.
We recently instated reggae hour every afternoon. Lily enjoys kicking her feet and banging things together. She actually kind of has rhythm and a couple days ago I busted out the guitar again and we sang together. “UuuhhhAAA. UuuuhhhAAA,” she sings and her eyebrows dance to the song. Strangely, so far I’ve found that she enjoys Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your Soul” the most. Odd but true.
Speaking of playing music, I’ve always absolutely loved playing guitar and singing, be it in a living room, at Lillians or PJs. I’m just not good at it. I was second string pitcher on my softball team and second fastest on my cross country team in high school. I was first seed on my tennis team but we also always lost. In college I changed my major several times. I can’t remember how many tests I took to determine my life interests. I’ve always loved cooking, though it seems every time I manage to make something delicious, it’s been by pure coincidence and generally impossible to recreate. I had a decent career (prior to having Lily) but I never loved it, I was good at it, though never enthusiastic about it.
My point is, I’ve never been so in love, so passionate about what I did for a living until now. I finally feel as though this is what I am supposed to be doing. And of all the things I have tried out for, succeeded at, failed at, wanted so badly, what I want most now is to be triumphant as Lily’s mom, role model, friend.
It’s too hard to explain. It’s too hard to understand why even just attempting to pen my immense feelings regarding motherhood brings tears to my eyes and goose bumps to my arms, it just does. And I know there aren’t words to express, but there are very very lucky women in this world who are blessed with the opportunity to be called Mummmmm and they understand.
I love you, angel girl. Happy 8 months!
